Enough!

At the end of the day today, I was feeling so well.  My head wasn't hurting.  I had a lovely friend come over today and teach me to do granny squares.  We had lunch together with Emma.  She was so sweet and I enjoyed myself so much.  I had the bed made today, well sort of.  I fixed dinner and cleaned up all the dinner dishes.  I sat down to work on my granny square, feeling I was doing so well, better than I thought I would actually.  It had been a good day.  

Then, one of my family members comes in and says they can't find an article of clothing they need for tomorrow.  An article of clothing that I never even knew existed in the first place.  They referred to it as being lost in the abyss.  I searched through all the closets and hampers, under other articles of clothing on hangers way back in closets.  I looked through my baskets of clean clothes, some folded and some unfolded.  Nothing.

My laundry is my weak spot.  I work on it but I never, ever get caught up.  I feel often like a failure as a homemaker because I don't keep everything spotless, all dishes clean, all laundry done, feet up and having conversation with my family every evening.  It is defeating.  

Tonight though, when I felt the old fear welling up inside my heart, telling me I will never be enough.  Saying "You will never get it right!".  I heard my Savior say to me "No, even if you had it all together, it would never be enough".  The deceiver, Satan, will always set the bar higher and higher.  There will never be a time when you will have prolonged victory in your own strength.  

But…  But is a wonderful word God uses in the Bible.  Often, when a problem is presented, the Word will say "But God".  God is always the One who solves our problem.  When we turn to Him with our tears in our eyes, our hearts broken, "But God" comes into play.  We may not be able to solve our problem, "But God" can, always can.  Always will.  

In the grand story of the world, we have a problem.  We have a problem and no matter how long and hard we work to solve the problem, we can't.  That problem is sin.  We have wronged God by doing things our way.  By leaving Him out of the solution for our problem, we are defenseless against our need to solve it our own way.  We work to improve our circumstances.  We work to improve our appearance.  But in our deepest heart, we know we are not enough.  Not enough.

But God…sent His Own Precious Son, to be enough where we cannot be enough.  We cannot be good enough, or pretty enough, or entertained enough, or talented enough, to overcome our feeling that we are not enough.  

The Lord Jesus is and always has been perfect.  Perfect in every way.  He never had a bad behavior of any kind.  He never acted in any unkind way.  As we are imperfect, we need someone to come in to our hearts and perfect us.  To mend our broken heart.  To forgive us for what we have done wrong, where we have ignored God, where we do not measure up to His perfect standard.  To make us enough.  

We need Jesus to fill our hearts.  He is enough in every way to solve our problem.  "Relax", I heard Him say to my spirit.  "I am enough".  I am your "Enough".  

What a wonderful Savior is Jesus!  He has everything I need, including me, in the palm of His hand.

Embracing pain and suffering.

I've been reading Walking with God through Pain and Suffering by Timothy Keller.  It is helping me understand the value and reason for suffering.  I have been through suffering in many ways.  I have sought to avoid suffering and sought to bear suffering well.  I am realizing that the act of suffering itself is beneficial.  To embrace suffering seems contrary to rational thought but it is imperative if we are to grow and become all God has planned for us.    

I searched the meaning of the word suffer, and this website's explanation was interesting to me.  

“Robert Johnson, a Jungian oriented author, points out that the word "suffer" comes from the Latin sub plus ferre meaning "to bear or to allow." To suffer in this sense is to allow something to happen, perhaps, to allow ourselves to experience the responsibility for life choices which permits consciousness to grow. When we suffer in this sense we are opening ourselves to experience the fullness of life’s diversity as a natural process of growth. Such a "suffering" with life must occur for psychological and spiritual maturity to develop. The philosopher Alan Watts speaks to this point when he says, "Because human consciousness must involve both pleasure and pain, to strive for pleasure to the exclusion of pain is, in effect, to strive for the loss of consciousness." Life’s goal is to increase consciousness; so, the temptation to avoid life’s legitimate pain must be resisted.” - http://www.lessons4living.com/happiness.htm

Then my thoughts were:  Continually looking for pleasure or less suffering, is the loss of consciousness.  That is why people do drugs, to lessen their experience of suffering, to be less conscious of it.  Enduring suffering is the process that allows us to feel, to feel other’s hurts, to have compassion.  Jesus has compassion on us because He has suffered like we do.  He knows how to comfort us in our suffering.  God does not stamp out suffering because it is good for us.  It makes us alive.  It gives us dimension.  It deepens our faith in Him.  It removes us from the shallowness of self-absorption and pleasure seeking that makes us dead and hollow and unloving and unneeding of God.  Suffering is a break with the pleasure we so admire, but which is our undoing.  Pleasure is an addiction to not feeling anything real or true and is a numbing effort to relieve us of the pain of being separated from God.  

Many people question God's goodness because there is suffering in the world.  Suffering can be a result of evil in the world, but I think our suffering is God's gift in the face of evil.  Our lives on earth are meant to make us see our need for God and to live in relationship with Him.  He knows that He is the true source of our joy. 

Deficient vs. Sufficient

There are so many times when I feel "deficient".  As a stay at home mom, I do the majority of the housework.  I want so badly to keep up with everything and wear a dress and pearls while I straighten pillows because the house is in perfect order.  This is not how my day plays out.  Ever.  I have a hard time keeping up with the laundry.  Every blue moon, it gets caught up.  Most days, I wash something twice because my front loading washer will make the load smell musty if I don't get the wash in the dryer quickly.  I don't keep the rubber gasket cleaned with vinegar or whatever the organic remedy to mildew in the washer is right now.  All this to say, I am generally deficient in my housekeeping skills.  But my deficiency drives me to find sufficiency.  As I am deficient in housekeeping, I am not able to keep myself unspotted by sin.  I wash and wash, re-wash.  But the clothes, my being, becomes dirty again.  I can't keep up.  Jesus came to do the complete deep cleaning job on my person.  He removed every spot of sin from me.  He gave me the Holy Spirit to dwell in me, so that I will never get permanently stained again.  I know Jesus keeps me unspotted from the world, as I trust in Him.  I may pick up a little road dirt, I may mess up along the way, but those spots wash off easily as I turn away from those sins and turn back to Jesus.  Better than Ivory, I am as white as snow in God's eyes.  The Lord Jesus is so perfectly sin/spot free, that when I am in Him, God sees me as sin free too.  As long as I live on earth, there will be instances of picking up road dirt, but God helps me to see it, and wash it off by agreeing with Him that it is there. The continual washing off of road dirt is called Sanctification.  It is God's process of helping us conform our lives and behavior to the truth.  I am thankful for God helping me see my deficiency in myself, and showing me my sufficiency in Christ.

Outside Our Comfort Zone

We are having a missions conference at our church this weekend.  Our speakers are Eric and Ellen Peters, missionaries with Pioneers, who serve in Thailand. They spoke about their 20 years in the mission field and people they have met.  But along with that, they focused on the mission field in our own backyard.  We meet and interact with many people every day that we do not know personally.  If we pay attention, we will be able to discern their areas of need.  He explained that often a person's condition may place them outside our comfort zone - and that is exactly the type person God wants us to reach out to.  Jesus is our example of One who left His place of honor and splendor, left His comfort zone so to speak, and stepped into the lives of those who were not like Him at all.  He made Himself available to us, revealed Himself to us, because He loves us so much. Missionaries usually go to countries where they are foreigners, to tell people about Jesus.  I think the people are intrigued as to why missionaries would leave their homes to come and tell them about Jesus.  Maybe they listen to someone who is different than they are just because they went out of their way to reach them.  Jesus went out of His way.  We should go out of our way too.  Tell the manicurist how God answers your prayers and then give her a better than average tip - a tangible reminder of God's goodness, expressed through your life.  Say God bless you to the bag boy who takes out your groceries.  At the drive through, treat the busy worker with respect and look them in the eye and say thank you - when they see your cross or fish on your bumper as you drive away, they will associate your kindness with God, and kindness and good impressions last a long time.  In the doctors office waiting room, comment something pleasant about the person beside you and give them a good word.  Let them know that you trust God for the outcome of your appointment, and tell how He is always beside you, working things for your good and will be there for them too, if they put their trust in Him.  There are so many opportunities to pour God's goodness into the lives of others.  See how many people God can bless by your actions and words every day.

Withdrawing from the Noise

Our lives are filled with noise:  the morning alarm, the shower, the traffic, the ringing phone, the television, the dishwasher, the dog barking, the conversations, our self-talk in our thoughts.  There is always something trying to get our attention.  We want to read the Bible and pray but our day gets away from us and we find ourselves late at night praying as we drift off to sleep.  It is not uncommon.  God understands our distractions.  Jesus even understood distractions.  He had flocks of people calling to him, asking him for things (remind you of your family?) and Jesus had the answer.  In Mark 1:35 Jesus left his disciples very early in the morning and went out to a desolate place alone and prayed.  Many times, Jesus withdrew to be alone and pray to the Father.  To have a relationship with any other person, one has to spend time listening to them and responding to them.  We wonder why we don't have the relationship with God that we desire, but do we treat God differently than we would another person we want to know.

Listening to God is done by spending time reading His Word, the Bible.  It is His love letter to us and teaches us His ways and how He wants us to live.  Most of the first half of the Bible is history of the people of Israel, and books about God's plans for the future of God's people.  Psalms (songs) is good for when you are distressed.  I always find comfort in the book of Psalms.  Proverbs is a book of wisdom and instruction and gives us godly advice and direction.  They are found in about the middle of the Bible.  In the last half, called the New Testament, there are accounts of when Jesus lived on the earth, and the early church.  The book of John is a beautiful book about Jesus and tells much of His love for us and how He provided for our forgiveness by taking the punishment for our wrong deeds (sins).  The books called the epistles are letters written to people in the early church about living a godly life.  The Bible is a precious gift that God has preserved to help us in our lives.

Talking to God, or praying, is just a conversation with Him.  The Bible says He is the Creator of all things and supreme over all things and we must acknowledge that He is who He says He is.  Asking forgiveness for our wrong deeds is important because we are accountable to God for our actions.  Thanking God for all the good things in our lives is essential.  There is always something to be thankful for.  Then, we present all our anxieties and needs to the Lord.  Pray for problems to be resolved, for Him to meet your immediate needs, for your family and friends, and for your growth.  Like a child grows to adulthood, we grow to be mature in our confidence in God.  We trust Him to help us and He does.

Rise from prayer and know GOD has everything in control.  Think of it as handing over your basket of concerns to One who understands all and has your best interest at heart.  Leave it in His hands and go about your day with confidence in God.

We all need Someone to rely on.  We need a relationship with God, as much as we need the blood in our veins to live.  To know Him, is to really live.  His arms are wide open...